I know that the Holy Father is only a steward of Church. I know that they come and they go. I know that I will be faced with the joy of having a new Pope. I know this. But I'm still sad.
I was reading my Twitter timeline watching all the reactions to the moment the Church entered into this period of interregnum. Some people joked, some people counted down the minutes, some people stated the fact in sober and informative ways. As the timeline scrolled, my affection for Benedict XVI bubbled. I wept a little.
I couldn't help be feel abandoned.
I felt like a child who's father abandons his family.
I even read the final General Audience of Benedict XVI and agree with his sentiments. But, I still feel a tremendous sense of lose. My home is missing it's father. I feel vulnerable. I feel small. I feel like something essential in my life is missing. And, there is something missing.
This is a defect of faith on my part. God is father over all. Christ is savior. The Holy Spirit is our strength. The Church is protected by the promises of Christ. It is, after all, his mystical body. There is no question about any of this in my mind. I'm just that, Peter is absent and I'm somehow diminished because of it.
I already miss him.