Who knew that the heights joy were unreachable apart from God?
I've spent my whole life seeking after something I didn't fully understand. I've failed at nearly everything I've set about doing. Today, however, I've finally attained to my heart's desire. Today the brothers with whom I live have confirmed my vocation. I was approved to place my heart into the Dominican life until death. The brothers approved me to take Solemn Vows. I've been granted the privilege to place my hands in the Provincial's hands and gift my life long obedience to the Order.
I can't properly express what I feel right now. All I keep saying in my head is, "The brothers love me too. The brothers love me too!" God is just too good! The emotional highs and lows I've experienced in the last few days are unbelievable. I've experienced many incarnations of love throughout my life. I've gone from place to place and person to person seeking. I sought both high and low, on the heights and in the valleys. This is the first time, however, where the peril was so great that I couldn't think straight anymore. Perhaps this will give an insight into my previous post for my readers.
It's so dangerous to put your heart in such a vulnerable situation. It is terrifying to trust other broken people with such a precious and fragile part of yourself. But, what a pay off! I'm filled with so much joy right now that I'm ready to burst. My expectations of how I would feel, how I would react, have been blown apart. What a wondrous mystery. I finally understand what St. Theresa of Avila means by sober inebriation. What a marvelous consolation.
O God ... how wondrous are your designs!